To make the private into something public is an action that has terrific repercussions in the reinvented world. The government has the job of maintaining the day-to-day illusion of the ONE-TRIBE NATION. Each public disclosure of a private reality becomes something of a magnet that can attract others with a similar frame of reference; thus each public disclosure of a fragment of private reality serves as a dismantling tool against the illusion of a ONE-TRIBE NATION; it lifts the curtains for a brief peek and reveals the probable existence of literally millions of tribes. The term “general public” disintegrates. What happens next is the possibility of an X-ray of Civilization, an examination of its foundations. To turn our private grief for the loss of friends, family, lovers and strangers into something public would serve as another powerful dismantling tool. It would dispel the notion that this virus has a sexual orientation or a moral code. It would nullify the belief that the government and medical community has done very much to ease the spread or advancement of this disease.
One of the first steps in making the private grief public is the ritual of memorials. I have loved the way memorials take the absence of a human being and make them somehow physical with the use of sound. I have attended a number of memorials in the last five years and at the last one I attended I found myself suddenly experiencing something akin to rage. I realized halfway through the event that I had witnessed a good number of the same people participating in other previous memorials. What made me angry was realizing that the memorial had little reverberation outside the room it was held in. a tv commercial for handiwipes had a higher impact on the society at large. I got up and left because I didn’t think I could control my urge to scream.
There is a tendency for people affected by this epidemic to police each other or prescribe what the most important gestures would be for dealing with this experience of loss. I resent that. At the same time, I worry that friends will slowly become professional pallbearers, waiting for each death, of their lovers, friends and neighbors, and polishing their funeral speeches; perfecting their rituals of death rather than a relatively simple ritual of life such as screaming in the streets. I worry because of the urgency of the situation, because of seeing death coming in from the edges of abstraction where those with the luxury of time have cast it.
I imagine what it would be like if friends had a demonstration each time a lover or a friend or a stranger died of AIDS. I imagine what it would be like if, each time a lover, friend or stranger died of this disease, their friends, lovers or neighbors would take the dead body and drive with it in a car a hundred miles an hour to washington d.c. and blast through the gates of the white house and come to a screeching halt before the entrance and dump their lifeless form on the front steps.
I wrote this awhile ago and just re-read it and got angry all over again because of this person so here ya go
There are only a few things that make me really really REALLY angry and mocking/making fun of/putting down someone’s religion is one of them. I myself am an atheist, but I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and their own beliefs and that we should all not only respect that but also realize how beautiful that is. I was not raised going to church or temple or mosque every Sunday. I have minimal knowledge of basically every religion therefore I do not think I have any right to form a positive or negative belief towards any religion and I think that’s how most people should function. If there is a God or a higher power out there I’d like to think it is an all loving one. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten this personal in all my years of being on tumblr so that just goes to show how much this person pissed me off. Someone I used to be somewhat close with posted a picture on instagram of the sky and some tree tops yesterday. The caption read “God is great.” I know this person is an atheist and is only trying to mock Christianity with her sarcastic comment. This alone upsets me enough, but I also noticed that one of my best friends, who is a devout Catholic, had liked the photo. My friend like the photo because she truly believes God is great. She was totally unaware that this person was making a mockery of something she puts her faith in. This made me so angry because my friend is a good person and she is not afraid to tell you that she loves God and Jesus and she believes he loves you to. There is this stigma that has become attached to people that are religious, that they are all homo hating, close minded, think they are above everyone else prudes. But that is not true!!!!!!! There are good people and there are bad people and it doesn’t always directly correlate with their religion!!! You shouldn’t judge someone as being an ignorant close minded fool because they go to church every Sunday and wear a cross around their neck. Religions are very much a part of our world